laSt meaLS??

long time i didnt have my dinner with my relatives~~~ sit together having our meaL and chatting together~~ yesterday really happy because can enjoy de food and meet together with my cousins, aunty and uncle~~ yesterday reach to klang almost 1 something.. den me and my family went to my third aunty house and having our spicy meal at my cousin house~~ we just sit for a while den speed our car to my third uncle house~ visit my uncle a while because he just come back from hospital... he looks pale and very thin already compare to de last view from me to him~ after that, we go to my aunty house, that located at bukit jelutung~~ when reach there, 'wah' this word come out from my heart~~ really got my relatives at there~~ then, we at there chit chatting and wait for de time to go restaurant having our dinner meal~~ at there, i can see that al my cousins, aunty and uncle change looks already~ some cousin become handsome and preety already..haha!! almost 5pm, we went to de restaurant~ 6 cars been speed up at the highway~ really fun that time~~ when reach, we having our meal and taking pics~~ me and my bro keep on take pics because if didnt do it, mom will nag me again~~ she sure will say 'go take pics!', can imagine my mom face saying those words.. =X can say the restaurant just filled with our voice only..after our meals is finish, some of my cousins will going back to tmez~~ today meals like that end up already~~ quit sad because so fast wanna spread already~ den we continue our journey to my aunty house~~ suddenly my bro have an idea, he ask ' wanna go sing k at sunway or not?' den we been attracted already...haha.. den four of us... my bro and cousin drive car to sunway~~ when reach almost 8pm den we go book our room and sing till 11pm~~ at there, sing till siiao already~~ really enjoy and sing till no voice already..haha.. 4 of us really high already but sadly didnt take dao pics.. T.T.. when finish singing, we go back to our aunty house and sit a while only go back to tmez.. reach tmez amost 1 something le.. den when me phone up my friend, they say they at boardway~ firstly i really wanna go join them because leong come back already~~ but after me think a while i give up already~~ because go there didnt sit long and nid go back already so better dun wan go.. looks like me didnt spend much time to my friend because two days also not at tmez.. really sorry because didnt join u all~~ T.T.. 1 more day to go and i nid to go back camp site already~~ im still thinking it.. de hope that i bring before me come out from camp site, 5 of feb~~ de hope still been bringing by me but i already 100% confirm that it wont happen again.. god will not so easy let my hope come true.. wad can be done?? just wait for de day come true ba... 2moro nid go back already before 5pm.. dun wish to go back and i just start to have my fun only.. suddenly wan break down again.. haiss i quit impact with some loads.. some thinking, some ideas... make myself really flood with those.. and sometimes i really wish to give up but my heart stopped me.. now i just can finish my national service faster and came out having my study... dun wan to think so much already and just simple having my life ba.. how many time been defeat also nid to stand up and continue de journey~~~

mY 1sT step

maybe this is the 1st time i write since the new year gua~ just came back from ns~~~ tired-ing now~~~ but myself got many wanna say up~~ heres my story telling began~~

1st day when me step my foot to the camp site~~ my heart say that " wah... wad kind of camp site is this?? so nice enviroment with the greeny tree surrounded with buildings" ... when reach there, we been call up to register our name and been arrange our dorm~~~ at the 1st really boring~~ coz de 1st week nothing activities for us~ time keep on going and my heart always tell myself to keep on~~~ do not give up so fast!!! i nid to stand at de greeny place for 3 months~ so i should not give up so fast~~~ i keep on forcing myself to go on!! when wanna in de second week, many activities been given already~ my schedule very pack on starting from now... even though i try to free myself for few hours but really cant~~ early in de morning around 5 wanna wake up already and need to attend class~~ got 4 modules during this 3 month~ i keep on walking on those modules~~ in de 1st modules is 'pembinaan karakter'~~ on this modules me learn many things... become brave and do not gibe up easily~~ from impossible become possible~~ really fast that this module end up~ not easily i meet up new friend and now wanna spread agaiN~~ on de 2nd module also been taught de same things but our classmate is not same already~~ meet up with stranger ~~~ slowly minute by minute going on, at there meet up new friend agaiN~~ try to become friendly and throwing my mask~~ when me attending de module of 'integrasi', i got de braveness to talk in front of my class~~ to purpose our work~~~ at here dunno why with her support~~ she keep on call me go for it and i take my 1st step to go for it and i found that i really brave to talk in front of them~~ that time i really happy that myself can do so... but sadly after that me still got something not been say out...T.T ... wad can be do now??? i still remember that day~~ suddenly have feeling wanna write something.. but i forget to bring de paper come back... really sorry... at the camp me learn many things but now me only starting and there still got 1 more month for me to go on!!! ganbatte for myself... 4 of feb~ yesterday i have my volleyball match at camp site~~ but i didnt us my full strength at there... i dunno wad myself doing yesterday.. keep on making mistake at the court... but thanks to god give my team win it... but theres still got final match... i think de final match we will lose because the group got some pro people~~ their skill really geng~

* at here me wan to say about my friend at there... i meet up many friend at there~~ malay,chinese,indians also got..... mostly is chinese..haha~ those friend really funny and i still remember her that make me have de braveness to go on~~ i really thanks her.. for helping me so... i will remember her forever... all of us keep helping each other but at there i meet up different people.. different mind people.. we cant predict anything with our own eye~~ maybe u use our friendship but i think nevermind~ dun hope for any reward as wad he say last time.. we did something for others not wanna have de reward and their thanks...

chIrstmaS eve

tOdaY is chrIStmas day~~ wiSh alL merrY chrisTmas noH~~
alL hapPy aND keeP oN healThy neH~~
yesterdaY mY feeLing stiLl de saME~~~ nothiNg that chanGE
quiT borriNg foR duriNg morning And afternOoN~
nO special activities beeN set uP~ thIs maKe me morE saD~~
every timE theres nothing to do~ make myself will think more~~
me keeP on thiNK anD thiNK~~ wad myself looking for???
thOSe thingS still not enought yeT?? or waD??
waD mYself wan for??? wHy lonelY feeling suddenly will come out~~ haizz.. really cant predict it aS myself now knoe it, but seems nothing change but wad myself still wan for??
waN more care??? or others?? im kind of blurring off~
dEN duRing night time, me and my friends go celebrate for de event~~
aT there chit chatting onlI~ also nothing to do much~~
aFTer that, around 12 something den we gather together and speed up to proton city again~
todaY i thought wanna tell u waD i wan for.. but i didnt say it out~~ im fail this time...
realli sorry for saying nothing... dun have de braveness to say it out ba~~
althought myself quit fan for it, but i didnt say it out~~ maskIing agaiN~ haizz
oh ya, duRing evening got tell one friend~ he just call me dun think so much~ try for it~~ tell wad urself feeling~~ i still remember it but at night. me didnt do it.. im really sorry for two of them~ didnt do wad i thinking...
duRing 1 something den onlI go back hoMe anD one of my friend come to my shoP~~
den she at here chit chat and watch movie until 4 something~~
i taking my nap aFter that~~~ thIS my schedule on christmas eve this year~~ lIke this pass le~~ T.T but theres still have a long road for me to go oN~~ trY my besT for it ba~~
wHy mYself seems that our distance liKe faR already and theres nothIng to chat for~~
izzit myself feel for it?? my false feeling~~ i very very hope so~

MAskIinG agaIn?

seemS like this few days, me wearing mask agaiN~~
why myself wanna wear so??? why cant i gib any comment about those???
nowOns i more realise thaT anD i aLways thInk smIling ON thiS few days really come out from my heart??? i more wanna knoe it~~
wheN i teLL heR that SHe say me have a false feeling agaiN~
i hope that is false and fake!! bUt tHis few days my feeling tell me not like that~~ kiNd of serious things going to happen again... haiz~
sOmetimes waD i hope i didnt say it out~~ just let it come in fate~~
wHEn it waNNa come it will comE~~ sO i didnT waNNa trY oN agaiN~
juSt whEn de daY reacH it wiLl also reach and wont stop at there waiting for me~
aND myseLF liKe followS up other~~ he ask me did i tell wad i wan???
my answer is no~ i didnt do so~ bUt he telL me whY dun trY for it anD mayBe a suprise wIll come out~~ myself also hope that de wish that i thiNking wiLl cOme truE~~
today is christmas eve, got any plAnniNg to do???
KiNd Of freaKing woRRy christmas eve~~ duNNno todaY will haPPen wad agaiN~
juST enjoY today ba anD hOpe he can join together~~ de lasT evenT we celebrate togetHer~
anD myself goinG to enjoY my lifE aT ns thIs sunday~ quIt saD for it..T.T
aNywAy misSIng u alL de tiME.. s0bx s0bx

10 moRe daYs to go ON

fRoM dE daY coME baCK fRom genTiNg~ i haVE a strange feeLinG alreadY~
mySelf alwaYS seeKinG fOR it~~ anD i goT teLl oNe oF my friEnd~
he keeP on aN weI me~ teLL me dUN thINk sO much aNd iT juSt aN iMaginatiOn
iTs noT trUE~ bUt wAd mYseLf caN dO foR thE nexT stEp??
i MorE feAR tO go oN lIke thIs wIth de bLurIInG thiNkIng aND blurrIng mIndeD~
dEN i foLLow uP hIm say~ noT tO thINk so mUch~ buT unluckY~
i keeP oN thiNK oN tUesdaY niGht~ shoULd i do soMEthiNg??
mY feelinG teLl mE iS absolUteLy alreaDY bUt I stiLl noT beliEve it~
i keeP on goIng fOR it~
thAt nigHt hE didnT oNline, dEn i thInk anD thiNK wAd caN be dOne foR me~
mY mInd kind oF blanK oF it~
sO thIS eND uP aT tHE niGhT, keeP roLLinG at the beD thInk anD thinK~
dE anSweR at THe eNd alSO didNt appeaR in frOnt of mY eye~ haiz
tRyinG mY besT~ aND wAd decISiOn beeN maDe bY hiM, i will FollOW up~
aS wAD hE waN~ sO noW i dIDnt hoPe fOR aNy mOre thiNgs~ jusT i waN be Back like last timE~ noThiNg change buT kNoes uR answeR i alreadY happY~

seeMs nS life IS geTTIng neaR alreadY~ 10 more daYS to go on iN my hOmetowN~
beFore goIng hoPe cAn meET aLL friends~ scarEd nO moRE tiMe fOr uS to meet uP already~
appriciatE thIS feW daYS tIme left~ going tO dE trainIng~ bubYe alreadY~
like thIs dE tIme passeS~ hoW guD if tHe tiME caN stOP nowOns??
anywaY marrY cHirItmasU neh~~
hOpe aLL frieND de wiSH coMe truE aND u keeP oN hapPy, dun thiNk so much already
hOpe sanTa uncLe wiLl lEt mY wiSh coME trUE thIS yeaR~ thanKs neh~

laST yeaR trIps XDD

whoah~ having fun in de genting trips foR 3daYS aNd 2 nighTs at there~
bUt aT The eNd liKe that finISh le~~ but at there qUit fuN and enjoY for it~
fRoM de 1sT daY, we begaN ouR journEy untIL de caBEl car there~~
all enjoyinG insIDe dE bus~~ plaYing, chaTTing, jokiNg anD so On~
wheN reaCh genTiNG, we Nid to walK foR a LonG waY fRom de 1st world hoteL to aparMent~
wHeN walKing tO there~ whoah~ freakKiing tireD for it~~ wHen reaCH there, wE still nId to wit for getTing our room keys~~ unluCky we Nid tO wait becAuse therEs still dun have empty roOm for us~~ dEn aFter thAT, wE walK to 1st woRld for havIng our lunch or break~
havIng it dEn wE go waLk a wHile And niD go bacK aparmeNt agaiN tO arraNge ouR rooM~
nId tO waLk a LonG disTance agAIn~ reLLy dUN wiSH so..>.<.. but waD caN do le~ Den at roOm chit chat and waiT untiL nighT onLi go out having fuN and lunch~ iN tHe seCond daY, erAly iN the Morning already wake up le because one of my friend go pUt a song and all addicted to it alreadY~ hahas~ that song becoMe our themE song in gentiNg alreadY~ always also put it by oNe of mY friend.. afTer we Prepared, wE goIng to haVE fun In the tHeme parK~ tOdaY caN havIng fUn playing all games~~ bUt unlucKy goT some games i didnt play it..>.<. becuase dUn havE enough timE and tHe weAther not alloweD us..>.<>.<

baNg foR iT

this few dayS like manY thiNgs hapPen suddenlY~
cant managE anythiNg thaT beeN oCcuR~~~
buT lucKy thoSe thINgs also not a Big problEm...
sOmetiMes i wIsh to carrY ur pressUre~~
i seeing u reaLly suffer for it but i dIdnt ask u anYthing for it
u looks very desperate wHen i view u~
waD haPPen to U???
u doIng those sucH stUpid things Do u really think urself can forget it??
this type of things caNt rUn for it~~ u jUst can faCe iT and slove it
this wad U shoUld done!!!
ruNning caNT giVe anY gOod beNefit for U and Her...
tRusT urseLf and gO for it~
This waY GooD fOr u Two~~~
haIZ~ i dUnno hoW tO an weI u..>.<
jUst trY ur Best aND gO for iT~
never feAr for it ba... bless tO yOu~