borriNg daY

today night really boriing..while waiting for de movie upload.. me check back all de pictures that have inside my com... when me see back those pic..really happy.. that time really having fun so much with all of u(my best friends).. i really hope that de time will return now... return to de pass.. but i knoe this fake imagination will not come true.. but this is my daily imgination.. haha.. i think we all will dun have de chance to have fun together again.. all of us also will seperated.. will less time vacation together.. especially de time with you will more less and less... haiiss.. dunno why myself will always think this.. i think 3 months ++ me didnt see him already.. dun have de chance to meet and hang up with him.. but wad to do?? nothing can do just can wait for it only.. when see back those pic..its really a nice memory for myself.. if next time still got those trips, i think dun have de time we go together.. each other also busy for own things.. im kind of freaking dieing... kindly hard to breath on my life now.. really so suey??? why this year is like that.. before in 2008, i thought myself de luck is coming but is just fake.. like a rainbow that appear for few minutes den dissapear already.. T.T.. when is my good day will coming??? curiousing..

17 of maRCh

arhHmm.. all things been set up already.. time also passes so fast already..
all de decision must been make nowons.. cant waste much time on all those...
many friends give me different opinion but at the end those decision should choose by myself..
from that day, i see mostly all friend have their own ambition..
but wad yourself done?? i see u just following others onli... going any collage also see from them..
why dun u have ur opinion on it?? try to choose from urself and not from others..
which collage nice? good facilities?? must been seen...
i think after i choose my course alrready suddenly let me know others thing... =.=..
hardly i choose for it but now is money problems..
wad u wan from me... im kind wondering and tired for all those..
just can nicely discuss again ba.. haiss...
anyway to all my friend that going to ns.. take care and enjoy urself at there...
may god bless all of u all de time..

coEy baD daY

i agree with step that this year horses really suey..
today i already participate on it already..haiiss..
wads myself do in this few days?? since back from ns.. i become like this already.. maybe not in tmez make me didnt think so much..
today early in the morning helping my mom in de bakery ...
all things been set up and de bussiness running on.. when myself wanna prepared breakfast..
i cutting de bread into two pieces.. accidently i didnt see propelly and i cut dao my hand..
wth!! those blood flowing out quickly.. me didnt shout or wad because dun wan let my mom worry for it.. den myself hiding behind de kitchen and quick stopped de flowing of blood.. many tissues been use up but de condition still de same.. after think for a while, me quick hand up my finger to de cold water filled inside de paip.. those blood still flowing without any stop sign.. unlucky is the tradegy know by my mom and she quick take a piece of plaster for me.. lucky at the end de blood stopped and now leaving a big scar in my hand.. after that, i feel that my body seems unstable already.. i can feel de pain and my foot seems going left and right.. i quickly get a chair and sit down without any movement already.. my mom quickly take a tin of milo for me to refilled my stomach.. kindly i haven take my breakfast and lose much blood so make myself faint ba.. dunno why today will like this.. didnt have one time myself will faint when lost those blood.. seems that this year i will face many barrier in my life ba.. about money, relationship,health and so on.. now i believe those things and really happen on me.. kind under stress now..

decissiOn should be dO

still got many things not yet done since me back from plkn~~
my driving license and my future study~~ still dun have any plan on it yet~
since me back, my moM started discuss with me wad course that i interest at...
im kind of blank off.. de course that i wish to study cant be study already
so wad myself should choose now???
mom not allowed me to take that course.... den wad myself should do..
suddenly de hope that i taking so long been brake up... quit sad for it ...
sadness that cant be feel by anyone..
Mom giving me much suggestion but with de qualification on me still got a bit hope..
i still worry for all those wheather can be study or not..
de collage taht been choosen by mom also not i like for..
dun wish to go there... dunno why..this answer come out straighly when i heard it..
haiis.. that time i still remember wad step tell me... T.T
but now de hope flying away from my heart already..
cant been caught back and put back in my heart.. now just left this two course for me to decide ba.. hope wad been choosen by me will right and myself wont regret on wad course been choose.. no ideas for all those...

eNd stOrY oF pLkN

lIke this 3 months training finish already~~
quit sad for it.. im still missing my all friend at there... the time we fun together, siiao together, eat together, sleep together and many more~~ i will remember u all till de end of my life.. T.T u all makes me happY and enjoy on thIS 2 months ++... today when wanna go back already im quit she bu de u all de... but wad can be done?? cant change it ba.. especially "you"~
make me become brave in this training to tell wad my idea and present all de things when attending de class.. u wIll an wei me when my mood is not goOd.. im really thanks to u because walkIng beside me in this 2 months ++ .. without it i cant think wad myself will become.. many thIngs i wish to tell you but i didnt do it so i just write a letter for you.. this is wad myself can do only.. hOpe you dont mind it ba... my this fren really is good and care fren much.. she always say herself is a bad gurl and like to kIk people bUt i didnt thiNk so.. i thinK she is a person that care friend mucH and good listener.. she always can take away my view.. sometimes i will search for her when cant see dao her.. im kind of blur for it.. she is de 1st person that same gender with me that can make me do so... i think for a long period already, maybe de god fate us be in de same camp ba.. so that i will meet u.. at the 1st day i meet you, i dun think we will become friend... but now my thinking is wrong... In this 2 months, i learn many things aNd meet many friend.. glad to meet them in this camp site.. many activities been do already such as flying fox, colt m-16, wirajaya, marching competition and much more.. de 1 that i wont forget is my volleyball competition.. many friend been given support for me but im sorry that cant get de 1st runner up.. T.T.. really sorry for it because i knoe u all put big hope on me.. especially you too~ getting second got a bit dissapointed but in de game i enjoy it.. can meet so much 'wakil perak' player also is fate..haha.. hope we have time to play together again~~ ^^! yesterday when having de ceremony to close our camp for Kump1 Siri5, got many of friend faint already.. because de weather really not good... hOt untiL de eye also cant open~~during night time, having ceremony of penyerahan pangkat.. de feeling suddenly change jor~~ those teacher say those things make some people cry already~~ de feeling that time really sad.. anyway de time we fun together will be a part of memory in my life already..cant erase already~~~ now jusT enJOy my trIPS!! XDDD waiting for it~~~ hoPE can go Lo with u alL~ ^^

laSt meaLS??

long time i didnt have my dinner with my relatives~~~ sit together having our meaL and chatting together~~ yesterday really happy because can enjoy de food and meet together with my cousins, aunty and uncle~~ yesterday reach to klang almost 1 something.. den me and my family went to my third aunty house and having our spicy meal at my cousin house~~ we just sit for a while den speed our car to my third uncle house~ visit my uncle a while because he just come back from hospital... he looks pale and very thin already compare to de last view from me to him~ after that, we go to my aunty house, that located at bukit jelutung~~ when reach there, 'wah' this word come out from my heart~~ really got my relatives at there~~ then, we at there chit chatting and wait for de time to go restaurant having our dinner meal~~ at there, i can see that al my cousins, aunty and uncle change looks already~ some cousin become handsome and preety already..haha!! almost 5pm, we went to de restaurant~ 6 cars been speed up at the highway~ really fun that time~~ when reach, we having our meal and taking pics~~ me and my bro keep on take pics because if didnt do it, mom will nag me again~~ she sure will say 'go take pics!', can imagine my mom face saying those words.. =X can say the restaurant just filled with our voice only..after our meals is finish, some of my cousins will going back to tmez~~ today meals like that end up already~~ quit sad because so fast wanna spread already~ den we continue our journey to my aunty house~~ suddenly my bro have an idea, he ask ' wanna go sing k at sunway or not?' den we been attracted already...haha.. den four of us... my bro and cousin drive car to sunway~~ when reach almost 8pm den we go book our room and sing till 11pm~~ at there, sing till siiao already~~ really enjoy and sing till no voice already..haha.. 4 of us really high already but sadly didnt take dao pics.. T.T.. when finish singing, we go back to our aunty house and sit a while only go back to tmez.. reach tmez amost 1 something le.. den when me phone up my friend, they say they at boardway~ firstly i really wanna go join them because leong come back already~~ but after me think a while i give up already~~ because go there didnt sit long and nid go back already so better dun wan go.. looks like me didnt spend much time to my friend because two days also not at tmez.. really sorry because didnt join u all~~ T.T.. 1 more day to go and i nid to go back camp site already~~ im still thinking it.. de hope that i bring before me come out from camp site, 5 of feb~~ de hope still been bringing by me but i already 100% confirm that it wont happen again.. god will not so easy let my hope come true.. wad can be done?? just wait for de day come true ba... 2moro nid go back already before 5pm.. dun wish to go back and i just start to have my fun only.. suddenly wan break down again.. haiss i quit impact with some loads.. some thinking, some ideas... make myself really flood with those.. and sometimes i really wish to give up but my heart stopped me.. now i just can finish my national service faster and came out having my study... dun wan to think so much already and just simple having my life ba.. how many time been defeat also nid to stand up and continue de journey~~~

mY 1sT step

maybe this is the 1st time i write since the new year gua~ just came back from ns~~~ tired-ing now~~~ but myself got many wanna say up~~ heres my story telling began~~

1st day when me step my foot to the camp site~~ my heart say that " wah... wad kind of camp site is this?? so nice enviroment with the greeny tree surrounded with buildings" ... when reach there, we been call up to register our name and been arrange our dorm~~~ at the 1st really boring~~ coz de 1st week nothing activities for us~ time keep on going and my heart always tell myself to keep on~~~ do not give up so fast!!! i nid to stand at de greeny place for 3 months~ so i should not give up so fast~~~ i keep on forcing myself to go on!! when wanna in de second week, many activities been given already~ my schedule very pack on starting from now... even though i try to free myself for few hours but really cant~~ early in de morning around 5 wanna wake up already and need to attend class~~ got 4 modules during this 3 month~ i keep on walking on those modules~~ in de 1st modules is 'pembinaan karakter'~~ on this modules me learn many things... become brave and do not gibe up easily~~ from impossible become possible~~ really fast that this module end up~ not easily i meet up new friend and now wanna spread agaiN~~ on de 2nd module also been taught de same things but our classmate is not same already~~ meet up with stranger ~~~ slowly minute by minute going on, at there meet up new friend agaiN~~ try to become friendly and throwing my mask~~ when me attending de module of 'integrasi', i got de braveness to talk in front of my class~~ to purpose our work~~~ at here dunno why with her support~~ she keep on call me go for it and i take my 1st step to go for it and i found that i really brave to talk in front of them~~ that time i really happy that myself can do so... but sadly after that me still got something not been say out...T.T ... wad can be do now??? i still remember that day~~ suddenly have feeling wanna write something.. but i forget to bring de paper come back... really sorry... at the camp me learn many things but now me only starting and there still got 1 more month for me to go on!!! ganbatte for myself... 4 of feb~ yesterday i have my volleyball match at camp site~~ but i didnt us my full strength at there... i dunno wad myself doing yesterday.. keep on making mistake at the court... but thanks to god give my team win it... but theres still got final match... i think de final match we will lose because the group got some pro people~~ their skill really geng~

* at here me wan to say about my friend at there... i meet up many friend at there~~ malay,chinese,indians also got..... mostly is chinese..haha~ those friend really funny and i still remember her that make me have de braveness to go on~~ i really thanks her.. for helping me so... i will remember her forever... all of us keep helping each other but at there i meet up different people.. different mind people.. we cant predict anything with our own eye~~ maybe u use our friendship but i think nevermind~ dun hope for any reward as wad he say last time.. we did something for others not wanna have de reward and their thanks...